Running

First of all, let me say that I love running. Of course, when you have to start a discussion with a disclaimer, it's kind of understood that you're going to say something a bit negative. Kind of like how some Southern women will say, "Bless her heart, but she doesn't know how to dress worth a darn!" Not that I've ever heard that before, of course. ;)

So anyway, I love running. Running is a component of my identity that I've had since I was 15, and I'm proud to be a runner. But to be honest, in the 17 years I've been running, there has very rarely been a run that I have gone on that doesn't start with an internal struggle, where the lazy part of my brain is saying things like, "One more cup of coffee!" Or, "You know, you really should just get that laundry done before you go for a run. Or maybe just don't go." And I've always considered myself an efficiently lazy person, so this is a real struggle for me. Nevertheless, I do go for that run. And I train for races, and I win them. (Okay, not really. I just wanted to say that. I came in third place in my age group once, though. There were only 4 of us in the age group, but hey! I have the t-shirt to prove it! ;). Even so, I still have that fight each time before I run.

But then. Then I'm out, and I'm running, usually with my wonderful running buddy of seven years, The Dog, and I'm breathing in deeply, running in cadence with my music or the sound of the birds or cars or water, and I feel deeply that I'm living, that this is what it means to move beyond the mundane on a daily basis, and that this is the gift I've been given when I fight that voice in my own head, and I simply run.

Thou shalt not eat spicy Mongolian noodles after a 12 hour shift, unless thou enjoyest heartburn at 3am. Blech!

Been a while, eh?

So, I'm in a bit of a transition.

Actually, I've been in a transition all year. The transition from girlfriend/assumed fiance to single lady, from renter/moocher to homeowner, and now from shiny new ED nurse to transfer ED nurse. And which of these am I most nervous about? The former. I'm basking in the comfort of a well-earned reputation. I'm earnestly passing on my knowledge and thumbs up to my (very, very competent and smart and funny!) new preceptee. All the while, I realize that this is temporary and I'm soon to give up my reputation, the knowledge of the right phone numbers, or people, to contact when things are needed. The sure smile when you see a patient, knowing (and more importantly, trusting) your doc, your tech, your transporter. And all that will change in a few weeks, when I'm the new RN, the one who is going to be tested, who isn't going to be trusted. You don't realize the comfort and peace you've built until you let it go, purposely. But. This is growth. This is moss NOT growing on a (perpetually) rolling stone. So I have faith that it'll be worth it. And you know what? If it's not, then on to the next. ;)

Day off!

I really love days off like today. Awoke refreshed and ready to start the day! I walked The Dog, had coffee, went to lunch (and shopping! dangerous!) with a friend from nursing school and work, and had a great run with The Dog. Just a short one, but nice to get one in as always. And the highlight of my day is that I FINALLY got a bone that my 8 year old dog is interested in. Normally, she is THRILLED with whatever toy/bone I buy her....for about three seconds, after which it loses it's "newness" and she moves on to more pressing matters, like sleep. But I have triumphed, after 6.5 years of coexistence! The key, it appears, is to buy a bone with a filling. She's been paying scant attention to me and is lying on her dog bed, tail wagging, chewing apart the bone. This makes me very happy. Good dog. :)

I'm reading a good book, The Full Moon Bride, by Shobhan Bantwal, for book club. She's a great writer. The character has a very clear voice and feels "real." I'm only about a third of the way through the book and am enjoying the plot, characters, writing style and experience of reading the book. Good stuff!

Reasons I Love My Job

Overheard yesterday at work: "So, there's this really nice drunk guy, just got out of jail...."

LOVE IT!

Facebook and boys

When did my generation (though I'll admit to being on the older edge of this "facebook generation" thingy) move from CALLING a love interest, to just texting, to Facebook POKING? What does that MEAN? Is a FB poke a way of showing interest? A way of saying, "I'm aware of you and thinking of you, but unwilling/unable for various reasons to just call and say the same thing?" Or is it a polite way of being put on the back burner? I dunno, but lately, this very phenomenon has been poking (pun intended) its way into my consciousness. Sigh. Various peanut gallery members have various theories, so I guess we'll just see what happens!

Some days

Some days, I feel like being an ER nurse is like wading through molasses. Today was one of those days. I've been an ER nurse for two years, and I'm feeling burned out. Some of my mentors say this is a normal step, but I've been wondering: at what point are you burned out and need a little break, and at what point are you just burned up? I don't want to be one of those nurses I see who doesn't care anymore, but I'm definitely feeling that way at times. Sigh. Maybe it's just that it was another 12 hour day, it was a Code Brown kind of day, and I'm wanting to go out right now on a Friday night, but I'm too tired to get off the couch. I dunno. Blech.